Solape Volume 2
SOLAPE Volume 2.
Seconds pass into minutes, minutes into hours, hours into day, day into weeks, months, and I'm still numb. Still wouldn't open my mouth to talk to olowo ori mi, still wouldn't loosen up. It wasn't because it was the village gbeborun who figured my husband promiscuous way with a little girl. It wasn't because of the scene I witnessed inside the train sitter. It wasn't because olowo ori mi was so energetic while f*cking solape. I swear it wasn't because of the hoarse moan solape made signifying that she was enjoying the moment. Believe me when I say it wasn't because when mama solape heard of the incidence, she only snickered with an evil smile that says "serves her right". It wasn't all of this that made my soul lost or my spirit shut. None of this made me speechless feeling my heart throb with so much hurt I can't quite decipher. It was hard,I tell you. Haaa! Olowo ori mi betrayed my trust. He was a bullet who wouldn't stop shooting sharp pain all over my body. He was the predator and I was his prey. He was the hawk and I am the young fragile chick. He was the player and I am the ball in a large Field.
Don't look at me like I grew ten horns! Don't look at me like I am not a woman of my word! Off course I know I've once said I wouldn't blame olowo ori mi. I don't even know if I still do,all I know is that I can't stand the sight of solape. I can't stand the sight of her belly that keeps protruding every day by day. I can't stand seeing olowo ori mi moving into the welcoming hands of iya solape as his new in-law. I can't stand the evil smirks on iya solape's face every time she sees me,especially as a broken woman. I can't stand watching solape under the deceiving sun in the evening as she robs ori (shea butter)on her tummy which makes the belly grow and glow more. All of these are taunting pain in my life,so I walk up to iya solape to ask exactly where I went wrong ,to ask why she has allowed herself to be the monster and to be my downfall. In fact, I nudge her arm, trying to get into a fight with her. I even took the ashes along running it Down my bushy hair just so she could see through my pain,just so she could understand the same hurt she had felt when her husband left herself and a week old baby to wander with a strange woman. I wanted her to see through me, to see herself in me. To understand the struggle, the same struggle she had felt years ago. But what did she do, she only looked at me emotionless with nothing for me to comprehend. She only stood hands akimbo, starring intensely inside my eyes that I shivered, she hissed and then spat into my eyes. Yes, she spat one heavy kelembe (mucus) inside my eyes, which started sliding off to my nose then down to my mouth. I tasted her kelembe. It tasted like iya solape. It tasted horrible. "If you had been fertile, your good for nothing husband wouldn't have been running around my daughter. He wouldn't have been useless. Iya Aje (witch) go and check your self!" Then she slammed the door hard on my face.
Believe me when I say the mucus on my face didn't do me nothing. Remember? I was so numb to feel any pain. But something struck me and made me know it is finished. I have finally lost it all. "Your good for nothing husband?" That word came out sour and sharp. Iya solape that has once adored olowo ori mi,sang his praises, worshipped him. Now he is good for nothing. Hmmm, well, I don't blame iya solape, I don't blame solape, in fact, I don't blame olowo ori mi who didn't let that rod between his thigh roam in another woman's hole rather inside solape's, small solape. I don't blame him for not being able to wait for God's will anymore. I blame myself. I blame myself for being so calm, so incautious, so relaxed, so good, so kind, so understanding, so hopeful, I blame myself for trusting olowo ori mi so much, for loving him without fault. Most of all, I blame myself for not being able to produce children, for being so unfertile! I blame it all on me.